5/2/07 01:25 am

Twenty-four years ago, in ten minutes. . .


I'm speechless. I am thinking as the cursor blinks waiting for the next alphabet to be typed - I wonder what I should be saying. My mind is still filled with flashes of the stares you'd stolen from the pocket of intrusion and the countless questions of an unanswered curiosity of your existence in nonexistence. Unjustified and the least of any contextual translations. The line between truth and my falsification of intended romanticism is too thick to be broken. I wanted to write a summary of my life story so far but the thought of you is driving insanity into me once and again. I couldnt get rid of you at all. I tried. Always tongue-tied as I am always mesmerised by your presence. And I get so wasted thinking I could be sleeping right next to you. Go away, you've broken the locks of all the doors along the second corridor in my mind. Can't you just be nice as I've always imagined.


I was second out after my twin sister. I've always been polite, haven't y'all realised? "After you, after you", I would have always say. I aint as nasty as her; so much so, I've always let emotions take over most of my time and my friends. We had couple of fights before we eventually had to be here. We tried messing things up in our mum so as to get back to our Dreamland Desiree and not get forced out into this evil place where memories and infatuations are indispensable. Yet Mum had to deliver us into this light of darkness despite two supposing miscarriages. Aint all meant to be is to be. Thing is, Mum'd never acknowledged my sweet princess of reverie, my twin. She'd always thought I am alone. How could she be senile at this age. I think our elder brother has stopped loving us or me for the last decade. Perhaps he'd found out that I'm a thief who cannot stop the habit of stealing the hearts of strangers I so desperately wished to have been closer to. Maybe he just doesnt like the way I look. Maybe he's as fucked up as myself. Of 'cos. We're on an entirely different plane of existence.


I'll be on a trip in awhile. I've got to go see my twin and bring good wishes to her right at her doorstep and give her a big warm hug of love. It'll be a pleasant surprise!


I've always been brought back to my old home on the other plane of memory. Ingenuous thoughts of iniquity. Ironies and fears played over and over...I could elaborate but just not now. I got to go soon.

Speak soon-I wished I'd said.