12/14/06 03:09 am

For the first time, right here right this moment i feel me not on ground. I feel a needle poked through my chest and a couple more followed. My eyes were stinging and a pain i couldnt explain. I miss the existence on the other side of the world i once was. Nothing much but seeing autumn turn into ashes. And when the Nut-cracker asked me what was the most fun thing i had ever done, i was speechless. He said it wasnt because I never had any that i couldnt reply but that it is going to be the most important thing that i will want to do it again. I had to contemplate. As he swallowed that shitty nutmeg-vodka-cocaine-jello, i thought to myself - i have to be insane yet that massive headache wasnt helping nothing. As i said a zillion times, insanity is the only cure in this ridiculous reality. I am not too sure who i am looking for as i walked down that corridor, i couldnt just knock on that door knowing that it will be slammed right into my face. I dont know where to go to because all that's on my mind is what's that's on yours. Spare me thy agony, show me some love.