Wandering around with you.
Wed Oct 21 22:16
Bus no.345 towards Peckham/4ish/21.10.09
School Boy A (by the window)
9/10? Maybe more. English. Fair. Multiple red spots on face. Small eyes. Unbuttoned maroon blazer with tie. Sprite soda bottle in inner pocket of blazer. Lock Lock container with crisps. Crumbs on black pants. Short hair. Backpack and nylon drawstring bag. Getting off a stop after Queenstown Road and walking back.
School Boy B (moved from seat on the right to be next to boy A)
8/9? Younger than boy A. Small. Tanned. Short curly black hair. Big eyes. Long lashes. Thin lips, lil teeth. Baby face. Slightly oversized maroon blazer, buttoned over grey woolen vest with tie. Black gloves. High cut black shoes with probably only 2 holes laced. Backpack thrown on floor. Getting off on Queenstown Road, I think.
Thu Oct 15 22:52
...feel the pavement right under your feet...what is love without lost.
N+7: The grandad of the volley as described. The incomprehensible sounds to stay. Nightlight after nightlight, The Southerners played. What's legation to filament that's right. Play it all over this May; the explosives, the quicksands, the plane.You're lying in the zookeeper's dike, in the midriff not without a hi-fi. Dim the light-years, you're my godson dancing greyish slacker. I never thrill it will be omen taking all her pierrots from the frenzy; singing in dispensation, the cowards up her faction. The musings for a shout! Do not think I missed the cruet. All the dressmakers we cuckoo out loud. All the trash legation no coach-and-fours but clues. Hylas trapped in destruction and suspense in all thistles terrible. Soviet London forever 'til he gets ripped apart for a dragonfly yes-men to start. The inn blotted the rumble, she dreamt only of the stunner. Not team in a publishing nor craft in the tumble burnt Babylon's lump. The caryatid had your deaf-aid; not for many deadbeats, she wore a cruise when you're gone. Let me tell you, he wouldn't be here long. Vanished! She was gone along with those eye-openers that sang no sorbets. All the principal foliage in cruel wishbone's wayside, Zoe couldn't wait couldn't stay. But you never told me I was late. You never wanted the last screening of blasts that ran in sunbather's walk-up. You never stayed. Found something but not for tonight. The eighties without passions. The sloppy rides in gild flippers; they are memories—sliced. Zoe in oversized shootings; red and sly. Bobby—gray and given away. All the thistles I couldn't say. All the timpanist we gambled away. No lug in signature. Noise beside.This timpanist, Zoe, this timpanist! No more childhood cooked in midpoints nor scrambled egomaniacs like clearway.
Mon Oct 12 20:40
Sun Oct 11 - Noon
25 days well too long. The snuggles, the cigarettes, the phone calls and the distance way off track. A tattoo that should have been inked into the skin. There, probably wouldn't have gone too far, we thought. All the lashes unleashed for a single question without any solid reasonings. I couldn't have make it more entertaining. We'll see.
Mik & Kat with their mesmerizing accent, painted the room a changing season. Eleven quid left, I held back the horses. The Chapman Brothers laid still with Barney and the Koenig in the castle ruins.
"Hey Stella, whatever will be will be," no doubt 'bout it.
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3/22/06 08:43 pm
Things always happen in my head. imaginations and all , sometimes for moments, i cant even tell if it did happened.When you dnt talk to anyone at all, you start talking to youself and you start wondering and dreaming and all. You get alife when you are sleeping at night for you get to dream about the things that wldnt happen at all. Welcome to my castle in the air. all day i do nothing , but dream. and all so preoccupied in my insanity. Time simply passes me by, he gave up on me pretty much for i had given up on him, maybe. maybe not. Tommorrow's sorrows seem to live everyday.
5/9/06 11:05 pm
There is a kind of emptiness in me tonight. Maybe the day drained me , so I am that useless , easily exhausted . I am barely there yet . Not even at the start point perhaps. Somebody sang that one has to live before one dies . I kept thinking what I should do with mine . I am too much a dreamer and nobody pays for a dreamer. Even when its free, they probably have 2nd thoughts. Nobody seems to trust me. Maybe its just me, I wasnt convincing enough for sure. Maybe I wouldnt like me when I meet me. I got to be crazy to like me. There just isnt enough crazy people out there huh. And I used to think that as time goes by, my circle of friends get bigger, so I thought. Now I know its otherwise, I am too much an anti social idiot. I am arrogant and I am still in my castle in the air. But, I am hungry and confused. Always angry, always lost. A part of me wants this what not, the other side of me contradicts. Looking back at what I had done, I thought what the hell am I doing. Where do I really go from here. I think alot. Alot of shit. I worry. I imagine. And I dream, on and on. About the most unexpected things and the events that will never ever happen. I think so much, I get a headache. I dream so much, I never want to get out of bed. I could just shut my eyes and be in the world that I will never be. I could fly. All these aggravate the emptiness but at least these moments are utopian. Always am high on fantasies. The whole idea of imagination. Bad thoughts. Bad wishes. Haha. I can just go on walking and walking, and I refuse to stop. I may be walking in circles. Waiting.
Can I really play a game without rules, without order. It doesnt always rain on me, at least not entirely. Still .. . I mean why are we always so concerned of what any goddamnmotherfucker has to say, to do or anything. Why is this fucking dough so essential. Fuck dough-nuts. Screw advertising. Screw 5SGD 1cup of diluted mocha caffe. Screw that crush in my head that's driving me crazy. Its so true, to cure an addiction/obssession, all you need to do is find a new distraction.
Can I really play a game without rules, without order. It doesnt always rain on me, at least not entirely. Still .. . I mean why are we always so concerned of what any goddamnmotherfucker has to say, to do or anything. Why is this fucking dough so essential. Fuck dough-nuts. Screw advertising. Screw 5SGD 1cup of diluted mocha caffe. Screw that crush in my head that's driving me crazy. Its so true, to cure an addiction/obssession, all you need to do is find a new distraction.
5/11/06 09:41 pm
The fishes in the tank died one after another, day after day, since the day I took pictures of 'em.
I must have stolen their souls.
Til the day we meet again, you might have fallen for another.
It may just happen for real, for once, for good.
5/14/06 04:05 pm
In the end, we're all nothing but dusts on barren lands. Carried away by the wind to places we've never been. Forgotten and mistaken.
Blame yourself, for the wasted years; because we'al dumb and jaded. We ignored the rainy days and we never talk 'bout it. Have you cried over this lonliness. Have you thought of the girl who lived across your apartment. Have you stolen her soul in exchange for a box of matches to keep you warm. Is it true what they said about you and all the empty promises you've given to 'em.
I remembered the day you caught my eyes, you must have watched me drown in your presence. I swam ashore only to realise that you were on the other isle in the ocean. Was it all a dream ? Wasnt it all for free.
Blame yourself, for the wasted years; because we'al dumb and jaded. We ignored the rainy days and we never talk 'bout it. Have you cried over this lonliness. Have you thought of the girl who lived across your apartment. Have you stolen her soul in exchange for a box of matches to keep you warm. Is it true what they said about you and all the empty promises you've given to 'em.
I remembered the day you caught my eyes, you must have watched me drown in your presence. I swam ashore only to realise that you were on the other isle in the ocean. Was it all a dream ? Wasnt it all for free.
5/17/06 12:34 am
Strangely, the faster you run, the longer the distance it gets in between. The further there is that we can not see.
How wil you know you have found what you were looking for when what's lost can never be found again or whatever wasnt lost is nothing to be found.
Where were you today? What were the routes that you've taken? Who have you met? Who have you spoken of?
You are an unsolved riddle, mysterious and intriguing.
How wil you know you have found what you were looking for when what's lost can never be found again or whatever wasnt lost is nothing to be found.
Where were you today? What were the routes that you've taken? Who have you met? Who have you spoken of?
You are an unsolved riddle, mysterious and intriguing.
5/19/06 12:23 am
Hel'o
Wel, next please.
It wil al be gone, the mystery and the misery.
And nothing else does matter.
Lets get high on thinner and turpentine.
Drown your sorrows and kil yourself tonight.
Actions do speak louder than words.
Gd'bye
Wel, next please.
It wil al be gone, the mystery and the misery.
And nothing else does matter.
Lets get high on thinner and turpentine.
Drown your sorrows and kil yourself tonight.
Actions do speak louder than words.
Gd'bye
5/20/06 03:35 am
I'll see you again on 31|11|10. I'll count the numbers that never ends. I'll meet you at the lucid crossroads. I'll take that extra route just for a glimpse of you. By the way, that smile eons ago is still hanging around in the back of head. I say, where have you been.
5/23/06 01:29 am
And I stood in front of the window display each time I pass the 6th store on 23rd street. I stood there for hours that felt like minutes. I stare right thru the countless pieces of articles written of this character that I only met at the crossroads of imagination. No matter how long I stood there, I just couldnt put the bits and pieces together. I couldnt understand your existence without being real. There was no truth nor possibilities. Some days, I saw me in that store while I was just passing by; some days, as I stood there, I saw you in the reflection - you were just next to me; some days, I just ran away from all. Despite the denials, I just couldnt escape this ladyrinth. There wasnt any other routes to take.
5/24/06 08:05 pm
Hahahaha, I saw you yesterday. I do suppose its you. Again. Running pass the aisle, up and down and up again. What the hell were you trying to do. But, you missed me. I was sitting right by the corner where all I could see was miles of fading light, from blue to blue to blue to orange to red to orange to blue to black, not exactly. And when it turns from black to black to blue to blue to yellow again you fell from the fire escape?, with a flying rocket. Its ok, you'll be back...I see you on the 13th storey,along the corridor facing the ferris wheel. Yes, that building. And he's not suppose to know.
5/27/06 12:17 am
I live in a container on one of the 13th level amongst this massive residential jungle with an insipid view of infinite lightboxes. In them, countless strange beings lived the days and left the nights. And if I do stretch out a lil, I get a view of the highway and a lil green and blue with flashes of lightnings at times in the sky. I wld stare out at these mini light trails a mile away for hours til I see it coming. And when everyone around me is asleep, I wld climb out of the window as quietly as I can with rose flavored rollies in my pocket and follow the trail that came in my direction. Its a travelator suspended in the midst of the night, you can travel for free if you bring a crush with you ( definitely with love and you may get away with lust sometimes ). It travels at the speed of your imagination and infatuation. The quicker you decide where you are heading to, you'll be there in an instant otherwise you may just enjoy the night on it as it strolls through emptiness. Wel, there're countless stars that you could rip just to be with her but, nevermind. Dnt worry, it never rains on you when you're on it (No, its not sheltered), it just doesnt. Last night, I just sat on it not knowing where I shd go to. It brought me to you. Then again, you couldnt see me cos I was behind you. And I went after you, but you were so near yet so far. By the time I could reach out to you, I saw you holding her hands. I mean, what the fuck, she just *blink* and appear. The next thing I know, I was walking through the back alleys of street 23 again. This time, I saw 'skunk in the funk' drooling over adrien brody. And there was that snobbish ugly dark hair donkey showing off his fickle lil monkey that he stole from the ghetto. And there was a ladybird that none had figured his constant contradictions except the fact that he probably was a wannabe-reincarnation of anti-conformist marcel duchamp went east. I love him though. Of cos, I met my version of the three weird sisters - Jayla, Peggy and Gigi; whom are the apple of the eyes of all fairies; in the middle of an art orgy. The dangerboys were building that wall on those concrete slabs so that humpty may dumbtily fall off and break into a zillion pieces and stain the world with his smelly white.I was hoping to pass that store so I could be with you but the more I tried I got lost. Amidst the search, I saw a parade of puny naked mermen, not a pleasant sight of them trying so hard to slide on those scaly tails of theirs and it smelt totally fishy. There were like thousands of them. What the hell were they doing in town by the way. I strolled on. And out of no where, you appeared. Hey, I must have made myself see you. And we sat down like forever with a glass of peach vodka each that never finishes and we did not say anything to each other. All I did was look you in your eyes and I saw all that you were thinking of, everything but myself. I saw sadness in them on barren lands on a stage that the curtains could never be drawn. There are hundreds and thousands of short stories with tragic endings, what are mine compared to those of yours or theirs. I am just a pathetic lil roach who lived pass decades and centuries and b.c keeping my fingers crossed counting on luck not to be squashed to death by an idiot. You said you were gonna sleep but why wld anyone sleep in their dreams. I could only let you go. Then, I was running away like a thief though I only attempted to steal your heart from her, I didnt know how to make that move. Yet there was this arsehole running after me with a parang on one hand and his bloody guts on the other. I ran. Looking for the travelator that will bring me home to where my mother is waitng for me with tears in her eyes and a pain in her heart that will never ease for I am a wild lil kid always running away from her. I never looked her in the eyes for I am guilty of a betrayal. I ran, maybe I didnt, but I found my way home and I hid under my blanket pretending to be asleep...
Goodday.Goodnight.
Goodday.Goodnight.
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